It Does Not Compute


My mother arrived at our apartment yesterday and when she came in, she was looking a bit confused. She had just had a conversation wtih someone outside the building and she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. When she explained, I understood.

There was a man standing there, one of the building’s tennants, out in the sunshine having a smoke. If he’s the person I think he is, he’s about her age or her generation anyway. He doesn’t smoke in his apartment. In the course of the short conversation, she suggested that it was a good day to settle down with a good book. He replied “I’m tired of reading” in a tone of voice that implied he didn’t read at all anymore, that he was fed up with the hobby. That’s how she took it, not that he had been reading for hours and needed a break. That’s what I might mean had I said it though I can’t imagine saying it. We both agreed, how can you tire of reading in that sense? My reaction reminds me of a “tag line” that one of the characters on the Canadian sitcom, Schitt’s Creek” would often say. He’d get a blank look on his face and utter “I don’t know what that means”.

It does not compute, Will Robinson.

All of my family are lifelong readers and we are unsettled if we don’t have a book to read. Magazines are ok, but not quite as satisfying. They’ll do in a desperate pinch but work much better as a “plug in”, an addition to the reading roster where books are the main event. I always have at least three books on the go at any given time, usually e-books with perhaps a physical book as well and almost always, I have an ebook loaded on my phone. I’ve got all the bases covered, I think. Sometimes I save the physical book for bedtime. The ereader is very convenient for bus commuting. My mom likes the ereader/tablet for reading in bed because it’s lighter than a book.

Tired of reading. That’s still bouncing off my brain. If I have been reading for hours, I might need a break, that’s true enough but if I’m tired of reading, I can also just switch to another book! Problem solved!

“I don’t have time to read.”

Another incomprehensible statement. I thank the reading gods and goddesses that my life is not so horrendously busy that I can’t take 20 or 30 minutes out to read. I read on my commute to and from work, about 20-30 minutes each way. I read at lunch, 40 minutes or so. I read in bed before I turn out the light, 60-90 minutes. Waiting in the doctor or dentist’s office? 10 – 60 minutes depending. (Yes, my doctor is always late!) Sometimes on weekend days or other days off, I might find a quiet hour or two in the middle of the day and read as well. 2.5 – 3 hours each weekday, 3 – 5 hours weekends. I can easily read 15 – 20 hours a week, give or take.

Reading takes me away to interesting places, with interesting people to meet. Some I like, some I don’t. Reading teaches me things, entertains me and relaxes me. If I ever say that I’m tired of reading, someone give me a good shake and sit me down with a book, ok?

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